We’ve settled on pretty much every detail and created a Spreadsheet to keep our wedding AND our honeymoon at about $4,000. The venue is his Grandparent’s barn, so that’s free. Now that I’ve seen how much of a yard they have though, we may do it in the yard if it’s nice outside. It’s just going to be him, me, his mom, his step-dad, his grandma, uncle, uncle’s wife, cousin, his cousins girlfriend and a pastor. We are flipping between October 13, 2011 and sometime in Spring, possibly April 8, 2012 as the date. I’m leaning more toward April because of finances and the things that I like are more springish.

The location: His Grandparents barn in Pennsylvania

Source: Google Maps.

The rings:

Source: Sears

Source: StoneBrook Jewelry on Etsy

The dress:

Source: Unique Vintage

The suit:

He’s going to find a vintage, pinstripe suit rather than a tux.

The bouquet:

The veil:

Source: MyMemento on Etsy

Jewelry (tentatively because I’m still looking and there’s a good chance someone will beat me to them)

Source: lilfivendime on Etsy

Source: 1900sBride on Etsy

Bed and Breakfast in Harrisburg $125/night

Source: City House Bed and Breakfast

And one of our day excursions is going to be to Hershey, PA! :)

Engaged, but I want a ring. It doesn’t feel real unless it’s on Facebook.

I want this one. How to hint?

Visit the COVERGIRL Facebook page and go to the MyCOVERGIRL tab to register for the 50th anniversary celebration. Add your photo to get the fun started with a cool interactive app that will let your friends know why you’re a COVERGIRL!

You’ll have the opportunity to win a chance to dance on the Ellen show as well as a chance to receive samples. How fun!

Want to find out about cool campaigns such as this? I’m a BzzAgent and you can be too. It’s a free and fun way to share the Bzz.

My boyfriend has gone off the deep end.

I’d like for once to be able to finish an educational goal without starting another. I stopped my AA because I got accepted to USF. Stopped going there because I flunked out because I was more interested in a boy. Boy became a turd. Moved home. Quit nursing school because it wasn’t for me even though I was doing well on paper. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get me to finish something but it needs to start at the beginning, I think. Maybe if I finish my AA, ill finish my BA. I’m so close.

Day 1- Day 1 was really hard. I got put on A wing with Mindy. A wing is a rehab wing, but most of my patients didn’t seem too able to do anything by themselves. I didn’t know where jack squat was and meeting new patients was hard. I found even communicating with a patient to be difficult. I had a feed, my FIRST feed, Mr. D, and he didn’t want to eat for me AT ALL. He was a total-feed meaning he can’t move his arms well enough to feed himself but he’s still to eat by mouth. So he either hated me or he wasn’t awake. I wasn’t quite sure. He kept drifting to sleep and I felt awkward standing there so I went back to my aide, Jana, who was in another room. I told her what happened and then when we walked back to Mr. D’s room, his wife who is an LPN at the rehab was in there feeding him/visiting. I fumbled with my words because I felt bad that the patient I failed was her husband. She didn’t look mad but I’m not sure I know how to read her yet. I was mortified. My first feed was a fail whereas Mindy’s was a giant success.

The whole day was awkward. I met Mrs. Potter, who I was sure I wouldn’t be able to understand, ever. Her legs scared me. They were so frail and she has a bit of a foot drop. Her diagnosis is Parkinson’s.

I left this day unaccomplished. Everyone else seemed to have amazing stories and I just felt so bad that I wasn’t able to connect with anyone and I felt like an imposter. When I got with Jonathan at the end of the day, I sobbed for a really long time.

Day 2-

Was forced to go to a conference on hip/knee replacement before clinical. When I arrived at the center, I found out I was partnered with Mindy again and our aid was different. This time we had Christine, who we couldn’t find for a while. Once we found her, she admitted she was new on the wing and had no idea what she was doing.

Mrs. Potter got a roommate and Mr. C, whom I met briefly on Day 1, ended up being well enough to get sent home! He had been hoping for it on Day 1. All I remember about him was that he was flirty, asked me to rock him to sleep, and liked watching Cash Cab.

Potter’s roommate, Mrs. B, loves attention and when I asked one of the aides to come in the room with me to help me with Potter’s bedpan, I got told no because they’d be in the room all day. I felt this was fucking rude. I also felt frustrated all day like noone would help me and at one point I really wanted to leave. I was in the dining room with my aid and one of the OTHER CNA’s like yelled at me. I wasn’t sure she was a CNA so I ‘kept busy’ like she said. She pretty much ordered me to move this man back to his room. So I get his chair unlocked, then another aid tells me to wheel him in front of the nurses station and that’s where he’s to be. So I get ready to move him over there and this frickin lady in a wheelchair wheels herself into my path so I can’t move him. She starts talking to him about how he’s a man of “great reputation” and she really likes him. Ugh, love connection. Then she starts daring him to stand up and sit in different chair. He starts trying to stand and I’m behind him against a wall. I can’t really move so I’m verbally “sir, I don’t think you’re supposed to stand” I said it a few times and he did NOT listen to me. Finally, he pops his alarm off his chair and the alarm is going off. What annoyed me the most about this situation is that I asked, LOUDLY, for help SEVERAL times and none of the aides who were standing within earshot helped. I was sure this man was going to fall. Finally, one of them sucked it up and came over to get him back in his chair. Then she walks away, with the alarm still going off. WTF. I don’t know how to turn this alarm off, so I kept asking and finally someone showed me. It’s like they don’t want students there and they want me to fail at this.

Accomplishments: Got Mrs. B’s blood pressure

Fed Mrs. Potter. She ate tons of avocado and orange slices. She likes those. And Hershey’s kisses. She did NOT want her egg salad sandwich that she personally requested because the aid mashed it into mush instead of letting us feed it to her in tiny sandwich bites. What got me the most was that Mrs. P was saying “no, what are you doing? no!” as the aide was smashing it. On Mechanical Soft diet, she would have been perfectly capable of having that sandwich in tiny bite sized pieces.

Got Mrs. Potter off a bedpan.

Showered Mrs. B

Yeah..I pretty much spent 90% of my time in that room with those two. I have 10 patients and I honestly did not go in the other rooms unless the lights went off. I know the aides were in and out though.

I’m a grand prize winner of life, and a trip to Indianapolis.
Marry me.

As excited and grateful as I am to be in this nursing program, I feel like such a loner. Everyone else socializes and I feel cast out. So I text boyfriend during class to tell him how much I hate it and wish he were with me. Because if he were, I’d be a lot more stress free. I went and saw him for a hug and a kiss after class, but stayed for almost 2 hours. Time goes by so fast when I’m with him.

Woke up today and this idea of wedding vows was stuck in my head. So I wrote them down and they’re probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever written and I’m not even engaged.

I love how boyfriend wants me to meet his grandma and grandpa.

I love when we are laying together in my car, windows down, Florida humidity up, and he just talks. I love learning about him. I love how he can describe the house he wants to live in and I can picture it just from him talking..and it’s what I want, too.

I was so good today. I met the ‘hussy’ (in my mind) that he dumped me for that ended up rejecting him. I’d already met her once and I’d seen her a few times, but we actually hung out today. He knows that I’ve felt jealousy and I probably still feel a little jealous but the way he looks at me is totally different from the way he looks at her. I’m over it, for the most part. She isn’t an awful person and I’m kind of at peace.

August 11, 2010- the rest of our  lives, God willing.

It is easy to forget to blog when everything is perfect again.